About a friend

I have a friend whom I have known for a long long time. We grew up together in fact. It has been many years since we were young and care free, seeking adventures, pushing the envelope, living large and experiencing new things.

Back in our late teens and early twenties, we did amazing things together. And as we grew up and grew older, we both settled into the responsibilities that adulthood brings. I worked hard to develop my company as he did with his. We both settled down with our now wives.

My friend and I talk a lot, even though we are living in different parts of the world. And over the last few years, he seems to have become very unhappy. It seems that he is disappointed with his particular lot in life. He works too much on his job, he finds the responsibility almost too much some days (even though he is successful). His personal life seems quite unfulfilling, he and his wife act more like roommates than a caring committed couple. And each day, the clock ticks for him.....

Somewhere in our mid twenties, we took two separate forks in the road from what I can tell. I too have a business, and the responsibility is overwhelming at times. I know that I am responsible for the income and security of not only myself and my business partner and our respective families, but also our staff and their significant others. In a way, my partner and I hold the responsibility of ensuring that our team has the means to live a good life too.... There is definite pressure in that.
With my soulmate, (and she is) I am the luckiest person in the world. We share the same outlook on life and have almost identical goals. We know each other intimately, she knows what I am thinking and why I am thinking it.. We live in adventure.. we do it together facing forward. And each new turn in the road we take with vigor, not peering around the corner but instead plowing full on so that we can relish every moment for what it is.

My friend on the other hand, seems to be doing the exact opposite. Where he was once adventurous and free spirited, he has become muted. He is embroiled in his own "faulted" relationship, but is unable (or unwilling) to find the means to solve it. He allows the pressure of work to strip him of what was once his overwhelming joie de vivre.

I worry about him a lot. Not just for the fact that he might succumb to the pressure and cave, but also because he is transitioned from living to just existing and he doesn't seem to know how to change that. He has become complacent in his life, and from all our conversations it does not look like he has any way to find joy or amusement in his existence. Most importantly, I mourn for the man he once was, the one who lived life to its fullest and enjoyed all it had to offer good or bad.

There is one thing I have learned about life and people. Everyone is the master of their own destiny. But I wish there was something I could do to help him rediscover what he knows he has missplaced. I would like to see him come back to living instead of just existing.